The Sleeping Beauty
by AllergicToAlmonds
Summary: The classical story now in Shaman King style! Lots of humor, drama and most of all, YAOI! Pairings are HaoYoh, HoroRen and RyuLyserg. Enjoy!


**Title: **The Sleeping Beauty.

**Summary: **The classical story now in Shaman King style! Lots of humor, drama and most of all, YAOI! Pairings are HaoYoh, HoroRen and RyuLyserg. Enjoy!

**Rating: **T for Teen…

**Pairings: **You can read them from above.

**Warnings: **I have really weird sense of humor. Beware. There's also yaoi, drugs, little OOCness and swearing.

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Shaman King, what the hell would I do here?

**A/N: **Well, hello. This is my first Shaman King fanfic ever, so I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't flame me like a chicken. Okay, just enjoy my mindless rambling.

**Characters:**

**Yoh: **The queen.

**Hao: **The king.**  
**

**Lyserg: **The princess or prince, I dunno, decide yourself.

**Faust: **The scheming advisor.

**Ren: **Lyserg's god_mother_…

**Horohoro:** Lyserg's godfather.

**Chocolove:** Lyserg's godfather.

**Ryu:** The not-so-handsome-prince.

**Manta**: The poor storyteller.

**Anna**: The evil witch.

**-- The Sleeping Beauty. --**

Manta walks on the stage takes the microphone and bows. "Good evening, dear readers, I am Manta Oyamada and I am going to read you the story, Sleeping Beauty.

If you don't like yaoi or are already scared by the Author's Note, chicken out now.

…Good, now we can start."

Manta sits down in the armchair and opens the huge book. "Ahem. Now, once upon a ti--  
STOP EATING THOSE CHIPS SO LOUDLY!"

The eating shuts down and Manta can start reading the story again.

"Once upon a time, there was a small kingdom somewhere in the woods. The people of this town were happy and optimistic.

The only problem was that the rulers of this kingdom couldn't have a baby. No one knew why. They had really tried everything and I do mean everything, but hadn't succeeded.

But that problem was fixed that beautiful morning our story begins…

King Hao was enjoying his morning tea on his very comfortable throne while his wife, Queen Yoh was throwing orange slices on the poor guards.

"Hey, honey, you wanna know something?" Queen Yoh asked.

King Hao looked at him. "What is it?"

"We can't have a baby," the queen stated.

The much more longer haired king sighed. "I know, baby. I dunno why, thought."

Right then the evil and scheming advisor Faust VIII came in just in time as usual. Everyone was sure that he was eavesdropping but were never able to prove it.

"My Lord, I know why you cannot have children," he stated.

King Hao glared murderously at him. "Well, tell me. I'm dying to know."

Faust cleared his throat as if to give a long speech. "Firstly because you are both males. It is physically impossible for you two to have children. Secondly, because it's simply wrong and thirdly, because all the yaoi fangirls in the world would have to go to hospital for CPR."

Queen Yoh stared at him. "Are you saying that we can't have children because we're both males?"

Faust nodded happily.

"What? You don't believe miracles happen?" King Hao exclaimed.

"No, I do, but it's still physically impossible," Faust stated proudly.

"Oh, shut up. We are going through this matter no matter what," Queen Yoh snapped angrily, King Hao nodding beside him.

Faust muttered something, but nobody paid attention to him. "So, how are we going to do it?" King Hao asked his wife.

Queen Yoh looked thoughtful. "Actually, I have no frickin' idea."

The scheming advisor on the background cackled like the maniac that he was. "Hah, as if! I have an idea but I won't tell you!"

The couple stared at him with unreadable expressions on their faces. Then King Hao spoke up. "You're the one who stole my pocky from the kitchen?"

Faust's face fell. "No, my Lord! Please spare my life!"

"NO WAY IN HELL! DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MANY MINUTES I SPENT LOOKING FOR IT UNTIL I FELL ASLEEP?" King Hao yelled, jumping up from his seat.

"KING, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! SPARE MY PITIFUL LIFE!"

"Pitiful indeed…AND I WILL NOT SPARE IT!"

" EX- FUCKING – CUSE ME!" someone with a bossy voice shouted from the doorway. Everyone, including the shouting pair, turned to look at the visitors.

One of them was dark skinned and had an Afro. The second had stuck-up-in-every direction blue hair and black eyes. The third, which had shouted, had purple pointed hair and golden eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" Queen Yoh politely asked them.

"We are Ren, Horohoro and Chocolove, the three fairy godfathers. Well expect for Ren, who is the perfect uke and therefore addressed as female," the Afro boy introduced them.

"HEY!" The pointed guy, Ren, protested.

The hall fell in long silence until Queen Yoh spoke up again. "So what are you actually doing here?"

"Oh, my dear queen, we are to grant your wish," Chocolove said politely.

"So start wishing, baby boy!" Horohoro yelled.

So, Queen Yoh started thinking. What to wish? That was a hard question. For complete two hours he spent thinking about the wish. Until…

"I GOT IT!" he yelled, triumphant.

King Hao, who had been busily playing strip poker with the three fairies, looked up. "What is it, my dear?"

"We ask them to make us able to have children!" he yelled jumping up.

King Hao jumped up, his face wide with smile. "That's an awesome idea! Let's do it!"

The three fairies looked at them. "So your wish is that you could be able to have children?"

The happy couple nodded in unison. Horohoro snapped his fingers. "Okay, it's done. Can we go now?"

"Oh sure, fine, whatever," King Hao waved off.

"YAY, Ren! We're gonna have mad passionate sex!" the blunette exclaimed, throwing his arms around the very annoyed boy.

"No! I have things to do!" Ren protested, trying to get away from the other.

"Like what?" Horohoro asked eyeing the pointy-head with a puppy dog expression.

"I…uh…umm…have to wash my socks! Yeah, that's it!" Ren stated, happy with his explanation.

"Okay! So we'll do it later, right?" Horohoro asked, when Ren was already dragging him out of the room, Chocolove walking behind them, waving.

Faust sighed in relief when they left and looked back to the Asakura couple.

…Only to see them making busily out, forgetting he was in the same room.

He sighed the second time. Faust walked slowly out of the room and shut the doors behind him. Let them make the heir at least in a little privacy…

**-- Nine months later. --**

"It's…ugly," Ren stated, eyeing the newborn princess in her crib. He, Chocolove and Horohoro had paid a visit to look at their Goddaughter.

"Who's ugly here, man? Are yo tryin' to dis my baby?" Queen Yoh asked, very motherly.

King Hao was somewhat trying to get a hold of the pointy-haired boy's neck, but gladly Chocolove was there to separate them.

"Shouldn't you be worrying about that guy?" he asked and pointed at the crib.

Everyone turned around to see Faust VIII hovering over the crib, trying to clutch the baby to his slimy hands.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing with my baby?!" Queen Yoh exclaimed, pointing at him.

The scheming advisor turned to the Queen his mouth hanging open. "B-but…how did you notice meh?!"

"Who wouldn't notice when you're wearing a French maid outfit?" Chocolove asked rhetorically.

Faust looked rapidly around and then ran from the room, screaming to bloody murdered.

The fairies and the royals watched after him. "He's getting weirder and weirder every day…" Horohoro stated.

"Why is he on our service?" Queen Yoh asked his husband.

"Because we need an scheming advisor," King Hao answered opening his pocky.

Then the baby started crying and the two brunettes' ran over it. "Aw, what is wrong with my baby?" Queen Yoh asked, taking the baby in his arms.

"Maybe it's hungry," King Hao suggested.

"Or maybe it has go to the bathroom," Chocolove pointed out.

"Babies don't have to go to bathroom," Horohoro glared at the Afro-haired boy.

"Ever thought that it may be annoyed by your never-ending blabbing," Ren stated coldly from the side. Everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"What? I had 'Learning to take care of a baby'-course! It's not my fault you're dumb!" The purple-haired boy defended himself.

Queen Yoh shook his head, when he had finally calmed the baby down. "Anyway, you need to give him gifts."

"WHAT?!!" The three fairies yelled in unison.

"Well, you know, when someone is born, you give them gifts (usually toys, books, music, candy or other stuff) to congratulate them. Gifts are given also when Christmas—"

"We know what gifts are! But it's a … _boy_?" Horohoro exclaimed.

Queen Yoh looked at him with an unreadable expression. "Yes, a boy. What about it?"

"Well, hell, I thought it was a girl!" The blunette complained, the other two nodding beside him.

King Hao rolled his eyes. "Well, anyway, the gifts."

Ren stepped forward the baby in Queen Yoh's arms. "I'll give you the gift to sing karaoke gracefully," he said and snapped his fingers.

Next, Horohoro stepped to his place. "I'll give you the gift to party like an animal."

Chocolove walked over the Queen lazily and snapped his fingers while saying: "I'll give you the gift to choose your husband wisely."

"You made my son gay!" King Hao stated, shocked.

"Nah, he was one already. You can see it on his face," Chocolove said, pointing at Lyserg's face.

Right then, with a puff of black smoke, the evil witch Anna popped out of nowhere.

"_Cough, cough_! Smoke bombs nowdays! Can't even make the user unaffected by the smoke!" she cursed, coughing to her hand.

"Who are you?" King Hao asked.

The witch looked at him. Then she straightened her back and cackled manically. "I am Anna, the evil witch! I am here to grant the newborn princess misfortune!"

"It's a boy," everyone else said in unison.

"What?! A _boy_? Shit, this is making me change my whole plan…" she muttered, scratching the back of her neck.

Anna shook her head and snapped her fingers. "I'll give you the knowledge of your death! You'll die when you are sixteen and you 'accidentally' jab our finger in deathly drug needle!" she yelled, triumphant.

"…What?" asked Chocolove.

"Oh my God, you still see me? Gotta go, see you!" Anna waved and disappeared with a puff of black smoke.

Ten minutes passed in silence, when Ren finally opened his mouth. "What the hell?"

Horohoro shook his head and looked worriedly at Lyserg, who was peacefully sleeping in his crib. "What are we going to do with this situation?"

"Maybe we should sell all the drugs to other cities! We would have money!" Chocolove suggested.

"Ask his parents first," Ren said boredly.

The three fairies looked at the Asakura couple, and saw how they were happily cuddled together in a chair next to their baby.

"I'm so happy," Queen Yoh sniffed.

"Yeah, our baby's gonna die on drugs. I'm so proud," King Hao cried.

**-- Sixteen years later. --**

Prince Lyserg woke up on his very comfortable silk-sheet bed early in the morning. Today was his sixteenth birthday and his parents had promised him a big surprise.

Well, he's parents had always been weird, so he could only guess their surprise.

"Good morning, Princess," greeted one of the maids.

"I'm a boy," Lyserg hissed.

The maid smiled happily. "Oh, what a joke, Princess!"

The green haired _boy _rolled his eyes, got dressed and ran as fast as he could to the lounge that his parents used.

"Mother!" he yelled.

Queen Yoh turned his bored eyes to his son. "Descendant."

"I'm a boy, right?" he asked, slamming his hands down on the table.

"Oh yes. As much as a boy me and father could make," Queen Yoh answered, smirking slyly to his husband.

King Hao leaned closer to his wife and grinned. "And we indeed did our best…"

The two brunettes' kissed each other very fiercely. Lyserg looked theatrically away, covering his face with his hand.

"AH! Stop it! You're giving me a trauma!" he exclaimed.

"That's right, Hao, not in front of the kid!" Queen Yoh giggled.

"Like that has ever stopped us before," King Hao grinned proudly.

Lyserg turned to look at the computer screen. "See what I mean? A trauma."

Three fairy godfathers/mother then popped out of nowhere. Both King Hao and Queen Yoh groaned in disappointment but Lyserg giggled happily.

"Uncle Horohoro! Uncle Chocolove! Aunt Ren!" he hugged all of them.

"Don't call me aunt. I'm a male, Princess," Ren said, like he did in every visit.

"Hey, don't call Princess. I'm a male too," Lyserg shot back.

Chocolove laughed awkwardly. "It's so nice to see you! I love this castle, I may move in here," he suggested, looking around. Then he noticed the expression on King Hao's and Queen Yoh's faces' so he gave up.

"It's time to party!" Lyserg yelled and so everyone jumped to the table for food and dancing.

After few hours of partying like animals, someone had the awesome idea of playing hide-and-seek. Of course, everyone, being as drunk as they were, agreed to this. Lyserg decided to hide in the top tower, where he could taste the bottle of vodka he stole.

When he arrived to the top tower, he noticed a girl sitting there.

"Who are you and why should I care?" Lyserg inquired politely.

"I am Anna, the drug dealer. You'd like some?" She asked, offering a needle.

Lyserg had always wanted to try drugs and there was his change. So he took it. When his finger hit the top of the needle, he instantly felt weird and he fell to the floor.

"Hahahahahahahaa!" Anna the evil witch cackled and fled from the crime scene.

Lyserg should have died, but instead he got to cloud nine for next hundred years. You see, the three fairies had changed Anna's drug so that it send all people to the same destiny as the young greenhead.

Oh joy.

**-- Maybe hundred years later. (Uh, I'm getting bored with this 'years later'-thing.) --**

Ryu, the not-so-handsome-prince, had decided to look for a new home. His parents had kicked him out and he had nowhere to go.

Luckily, he found a deserted castle nearby.

Well, mostly deserted. Here and there were people laying around looking like they had been hundred years on cloud nine.

Prince Ryu didn't care for their bodies and simply kicked them out of his way.

Oddly, his way somewhat lead him to the highest tower.

Prince Ryu opened the door and immediately saw a beautiful princess lying on the floor.  
She had green hair and pale skin.

The not-so-handsome-prince couldn't simply help himself, so he kissed this pretty-boy, which he thought was a girl.

Lyserg's eyes fluttered back to normal when he felt something wet and hot on his mouth. He looked to the eyes of his captor and saw a not-so-handsome-prince.

"GAH!!!!" Lyserg yelled and pulled back.

"Hello, Sleeping Beauty!" Prince Ryu exclaimed lovingly.

"Who the hell are you?" the just-awakened prince asked warily.

"Prince Ryu," Ryu introduced himself with a bow. "Will you marry me?"

"What? No, I'm only sixteen!" Lyserg protested backing away to the door.

The prince took few steps towards him. "I heard a rumour that this castle has been under drugs for hundred years."

Hundred years? Lyserg's eyes widened comically. He had been on cloud nine for whole hundred years? What would his parent's say? …No, wait a minute, they would probably only congratulate him.

Then Ryu had come so close that he had Lyserg trapped between himself and the door.

"So what you say, baby?" Ryu flirted.

This was too much for Lyserg so he ran away. "NO, I BLOODY WON'T!!!"

"WHAT? PRINCESS, WE ARE MEANT TO BE!" Ryu yelled, running after him.

"I'M A _BOY_!!!!" The green-haired teen cried back.

Ryu was silent for a moment. Then his smirk grew even bigger. "THAT ONLY MAKES ME WANT YOU MORE!"

By this time, the whole castle was awake and wondering what the hell they had been doing the last hundred years.

"I can't believe it!" Horohoro yelled, frustrated.

"What?" Asked the still very annoyed Ren.

"I haven't been with you since Christmas hundred years ago! I'm in need," the blunette whined.

Ren sighed. Then he opened his shirt and took Horohoro by his arm. "You can have what you want. I hate to admit it but I want it too."

Horohoro smiled happily and they went off to find a nice bedroom.

Meanwhile, Queen Yoh had just woken up. He looked at the pot beside him and saw his reflection. They said that the scream was heard in city thousand miles away from there.

"What is it, my dear?" King Hao asked worriedly.

"I'm _old_!" His wife stated.

"What?"

"Oh, I look like a crypt keeper!" Queen Yoh exclaimed.

King Hao laughed at this. "Baby, you look fine to me…"

So now the royal couple had going on what they most liked to do: Now on the kitchen table. Luckily, all the servants were so busy due their hundred years in absence, didn't notice anything.

Lyserg and Ryu still ran all over the castle, the not-so-handsome-prince trying to get the greenette and the said greenette trying to escape from him.

Chocolove watched their race in amazement. "I never knew anyone could run that fast after hundred years on cloud nine…"

Faust VIII laughed. "You haven't seen anything, fairy!"

Chocolove glanced at him. "…You want a drink?"

"Yeah, that'd be nice," the scheming advisor admitted.

And still, Lyserg and Ryu ran their endless race to the sunset.

Manta closes the book with a 'thud'. "The end."

**A/N:** I know it was a bit sucky but I tried the best I could, seeing hoe frickin' tired I am. Now, reviews make me happy. So please do so.

With lots of sugar, Abunai-san.


End file.
